Thursday, June 07, 2007


Its hard to lower your pride a bit and try to understand what the other person is trying to say.. but when the response is something as bad as utter silence (what? not even a nod?).. then that becomes problematic..

When you try to lower your pride a little bit more than the first with some hope that the other party will finally say something but was futile.. then that's it.. forget about exerting effort..(how would you feel when you keep on asking/talking to someone but get no response in return? wouldn't you feel bad? insulted? foolish? - try doing that so you will know how it feels like)

Nothing can be accomplished with sheer silence.. in fact it aggravates a person more, which can actually lead to a really bad situation.. geez.. that's what communication is for!

just my two cents.. no harm intended.. thank you very much :D

Ran 7:20 AM

Sunday, April 22, 2007

....[*[Graduation blahs]*]....

Finally.. after all those sweat, blood and tears (literally), I/we finally made it! Congratulations to all fellow K3 blockmates!! I labshue ol! hahah! will post pictures later coz I'm actually too lazy to do it now.. heheh :D

Unlike all others though.. Yesterday was one of the hardest day too.. as I've said, "Last minute haggardness, I'll put everything into this since this will be the very last". Yep, as part of the graduation ceremony committee.. and an assistant head at that, I went to UP Film center last night to do my job.. alas! there were only four of us and no ushers in sight.. Kudos to Bebang, Melai and (I dunno the name of the other one) for still doing their jobs well despite the fact that we should all be taking a rest since the ceremony was slated at 8am today.. We had to cut hundreds of papers, double sided tapes, stick everything into place, and inhale spray paints for several hours.. I treated myself and two others at chocolate kiss though (and the resto drained my wallet real damn good - 500php for dinner.. lol)..

all of them (staffs and CS peeps) went home at 11:30.. me, my sis and Jl had to wait for my mom though.. (I think it took about 1 hr and 30 mins) It was like a scene from a horror movie.. everything was dark since the guard turned off all the lights.. lol I cringed at the thought of seeing ghosts since my friend had lots of ghostly encounters at the venue.. lolz Thank God I haven't seen anything! Oh yeah.. I attended graduation today with newborn pimples because of that!

anyway... this is it! I'll upload all acknowledgment things later.. hahah! My only regret is that I wasn't able to attend the University graduation rites since we went to Eastwood Libis for my blowout right after the college grad.. my dad and my mom have appointments too.. so I went home early and slept.. T_______T

Blockmates, thank you for eveything! I actually cried while watching the AVP's final part.. silly me XD

UP is definitely one of a kind! My experience in the College of Masscom thought me to be critical, aware and open-minded.. (mre importantly, everything is a social construct.. heheh kiddin!) anyway.. my post is getting emo now.. so I'll cut this and post the continuation tomorrow.. jk :D

Ack.. and I'm currently looking for a condo unit or apartment somewhere in Katipunan? I hope that my sister and I can move in by this week... XD

Ran 10:49 PM

Monday, March 12, 2007


I'm on the verge of breaking down... hahah! like that will do me any good noh? And before I reach that point.. I heard that it will do me good if I'll just take it off my system.. so there.. here I am.. ranting again.. (people are so busy they don't have time for a small talk nowadays..)

my only stress reliever is "Lord Allan"... or LA-chan for more.. lol... my laptop! (how did I come up with that lame nickname for it anyway??? long story! )

1. I really REALLY hate it when people lie to me.. Life's been goin on for me without knowing that I'm being laughed at.. hell.. I didn't know that I looked like a fool already! c'mon.. do you hate me that much??? then you should have just shoved it into my face idiot!

2. damn acads.. i badly need a break

3. ever had that feeling that your presence is only important if something is needed from you?

4. call me KSP but yeah... a KSP.. I am!

5. ambiguity sucks! I'm tired of trying to decode/decipher/discover what YOU really want... I've reached the saturation point.. that's it! I'm not taking any of your puzzles anymore

6. I give up.. I can't please everybody... hell.. not even myself.. hahah!

This might go on and on so I'm ending this now.. hahah.

The Theory about Love which I heard from the movie Sevigne was probably true.. I'll probably post it later.. meanwhile.. I'll end this with my 2 cents.. "Without expectations, there will be no disappointments either"

From now on, I'll never expect anything.. if something good happens.. then thank you Lord.

Oh by the way, after 3 months of rest... (acads.. and all that) tRANCE will perform at OZINEFEST 2007 come April 1! :) see yah there!

Ran 6:08 AM

Friday, February 02, 2007

....[*[what else is new?]*]....

I feel so neglected.. hahah! I'm too shy to post emo stuffs on my livejournal.. so I guess you'll be coming back to life my dear bloggie.. you'll be my official rantboard again from now on.. I just don't want people to feel that there's nothing good happening in my life (is there anyway?) Not that I'm abandoning my livejournal.. I'd still be posting there.. but not these kinds of stuff..

call me paranoid but I've been having really bad perceptions.. call it a woman's intuition or what.. but.. what the heck.. where am I getting at anyway?

It's just that I don't feel really special at all.. maybe what the actor said in his movie line was right.. "the very person that you love most is the easiest to take for granted".. call me KSP or what.. but all I wanted him to do is to show that he gives a damn... am I asking for too much?

Ran 8:33 AM

Saturday, January 20, 2007

....[*[The other side of the Coin]*]....

It has been a while since I last posted an entry.. ack XD many things have happened and I don’t really know what to blog about anymore :D this thing will prolly turn into a rant board.. which I don’t wanna happen.. lol

Anyway.. In my old blog, whenever I don’t have anything to write about.. I do this:

Look for something then write about it :D sometimes, a bored person’s post is worth reading… SOMETIMES.

The law of Karma. Amen to that.

I used to tell him.. "there are things you have to find out for yourself",
"you should have figured it out by now",
"the answer is floating right in your face but you can't grasp it because you don't really want to see it"
"I'm waiting for you to ask about it, but then again, you're too proud to ask about it and too insensitive to feel it"

Then, he'd always tell me:
"Hindi ako manghuhula! Hindi lahat ng bagay nalalaman kung hindi sinasabi!"

I always.. ALWAYS speak in vague terms.. I used to think that a person will appreciate what he will learn when he finds it out for himself.. then again, I didn't know that I was being cruel.
Now, judging from what I am experiencing now... that was awfully hard.. I didn't know that being faced with that same conversation with me saying the other line would be so goddamn frustrating.

I didn't know. I guess they were right after all. You were misunderstood. And its quite unacceptable that I have to experience it first before I was able to understand. It makes my head ache just thinking that I realized it a little too late.

I'm Sorry.

Ran 9:23 AM

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

....[*[while you were sleeping]*]....

Last night was one of the weirdest but definitely an eye opener night for me... all it took for me to realize something is a sleepless night with no one to talk to and nothing else to do...

I sat down for a loooong time and stared at the wall (and the wall stared back too)... that's when I felt a wave of sadness rushing over me.. hahah.. I didn't know that I am a sad person overall; maybe too much work and other things I'm doing made me suppress all the feelings which will not help me in any way.. (i hate emo moments T_T)

now what's the catch here? I can't control it.. lonely moments like this one (since sisteena and bluesonnet are sleeping) make me sit back and feel sad.. which is why i decided to update my journal... to kill time..

i realized all the things i took for granted and the things i'm doing now.. i don't want to regret anything because I did everything in my own free will, which means no room for lame excuses.. --__--

but realizing something doesn't mean that I know what i'll be doing next... hahah.. in fact realization led to a chain of more confusions and confounding problems which i didn't recognize beforehand.. I guess i'll just wait and see.. who knows.. this might just be a passing frenzy state of a bored little lost girl.

in the meantime.. i'll just have to concentrate on something concrete... of something which is definitely sure to happen... l'arc event! must memorize songs.. i hope you guys are going! :) see yah there! :D

Ran 6:17 PM

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

....[*[Ran the Procrastinator]*]....

I am supposed to be typing the introduction, background of the study, significance of the study for our thesis at this moment.. but I've been staring at the computer for almost 3 hours now and I haven't typed anything yet.. (kill me now mama wena T-T , i'm a procrastinator.. ) come to think of it.. i have all the resources, books i borrowed from the library, photocopied stuffs, journals, unlimited internet connection plus a pc that I can hog all day.. :( but I don't know why I can't do it.. (geez I've been doing these kind of stuffs for the past semesters.. my brain hibernated.. damn)

Since I got home today, I've been thinking (so hard that my head ached) about stuffs that I've been doing these what.. past few weeks? My life's a total mess but I can't do anything about it.. I've been taking eveything in stride until I finally realized that I can't get out.. Finally, fate knocked some good sense into my head.. i'll have to rearrange everything and deal with it.. darn.. its hard to face reality when you're in front of it.

what's my purpose anyway? nah don't answer it.

I found a blog... accidentally.. and I read it for a good 1 hour.. hahah... but I was kinda disappointed coz I was actually looking for some sort of entry that will enlighten me but nada.. that person is so vain.. never talked about other people.. oh wells..

talked to one person in YM today.. I've been wanting to have a serious talk since time immemorial but he never gave it to me.. until now.. he never did.. he's still blaming me and other people for everything... you see.. i just wanted to straighten things out so that personal issues can finally rest...
when I asked him about an important thing and how he's feeling.. he said he doesn't know...
suddenly.. i felt like the most horrible creature that roamed this planet..
I feel bad..
he even left without saying goodbye..

I guess nobody will ever take me seriously..
so pathetic..

*lightbulb on*

GEE! now I know why I can't do anything right!

(chant these stuffs 100 times)

must put off personal issues, be on zombie mode.. then write thesis stuffs..

must not feel anything..


so easy... right? : )

DAMN! who am I kidding??

I need a break! I seriously seriously need a friggin break!

or else i'll break.. :(

"Life moves very fast ; it rushes us from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds..."

Ran 11:44 AM


these are some of my favorite songs.. more songs to be uploaded soon..

The Webmistress

made the doll in such a way that it looked sorta like me.. plus the pink outfit.. gah! Meet my counterpart.. PORKY! ^^

Name: Rosalin Angeli C. Merez

Age: 19

School: UP Diliman

Course: CommRes ^^

Hobbies: Drawing, singing, PLAYING RPGs (you know, the ff series, and yeah! online games! woohoo! hooray for ragnarok!), collecting anime and cutesy stuffs, shoes.. lots of em, cosplaying, instrument: piano, tinkering weblayouts, fanfic writing


meowmeow! pink.. chocolates (ESP. Cadbury Hazelnuts).. almost anything.. lolz jk! well..the best way to bribe me is through my stomach and sweet tooth XD


posers, people who think they're high and mighty, backstabbers, gooey stuffs, blood and gore


That's about it I guess... (for now..)

err yeah.. please visit my DA too! look for the link below.. thanks!



My Livejournal





Buddy Cams





Arthur / Nurikane





My lil bro



Just click 'em to see my past entries ^_^

April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
June 2007

My adopted Pet

adopt your own virtual pet!
Click on it three times and see what will happen! ^^ then spray or feed it by clicking the link below the pig which says "more" ^^


updating my photo album.. link will be posted soon. ^^

t_RANCE singing group link (which includes me.. hehe) just click on the image ^^

just click whatever folder you want to see.. msg: new uploads always... lolz


Blog tracker

Want to link me?

U can use this image.. ^_^