BLAZE...

Friday, April 22, 2005

....[*[Dynamic me]*]....

This is an essay I passed for my sociology class.. its about the "self" again! Hope my reflections at the end of the essay will make you understand the point I was trying to make on the first essay I posted. "the fictional self" By the way.. this is the unedited one...XD

"Hello! My name is Rosalin Angeli C. Merez, Ran for short and I’m a 2nd yr at UP Diliman, College of Mass Communication." That’s what I would probably say when I’m asked to describe myself. Frankly, whenever people ask me to tell them more about me, I just don’t know where to start. I always have a hard time describing me. I thought I could get away with it but even my friendster account asks me to tell something about myself! In contrast with other people who have tons of something to say about themselves, I couldn’t actually come up with anything so I always tell them, "just visit my online journal where I post all my thoughts, essays and daily experiences, maybe you’ll learn something." But a persistent one asked me, "does that mean.. you don’t know yourself?"
Okay.. its not that I don’t know or I’m confused. I know myself pretty well, its just that I can’t exactly put it into words. If there is one word though, that will define me, it’s the word "complicated." I know who I am.. I am the daughter of a City Prosecutor and a businesswoman. I love Friedrich Nietzsche’s essays especially "Beyond good and evil" because I won the debate when I used it and gave me a satisfactory grade. However, I was almost misled and made to think that there is no such thing as morality because he was that good! I am shy, an introvert so to speak. I don’t talk to anyone unless they start the conversation but once they do, I talk nonstop. I lover music, in fact I somewhat mastered the art of playing the piano and even studied at center for pop music phils. to hone my singing skills. I love anime to the point that it inspired me to cosplay and also taught me to love and appreciate Japanese music. When I’m at home, you’ll find me surfing the net, or playing online RPGs. If not, you’ll find me infront of the TV, still playing RPGs.. this time, with playstation! I love drawing but I sort of set it aside to pave way for other things coz when I draw, all my time and attention are spent on one drawing for the reason that I am too much of a perfectionist, I don’t want to see any flaws. I believe that I am a passive and a nice one but once a person really pissed me off, I suddenly turn into someone completely opposite. I have written down too many descriptions but those are just tiny portions of me, a bit shallow if I may say so. Want to know why?
Because I don’t think I have a core self, meaning there is nothing natural about my personality. I believe that all the qualities that make up the "me" are just products of social interactions, and education, be it from school, parents or just plain experiences. I can’t accurately describe myself coz I am flexible and fluid. I get to choose who I want to be, I can choose which direction I want to go. I am complicated because I am dynamic and ever-changing. I still have a lot more to learn that will again eventually change who I am. I might learn from my mistakes and change what is it in me which triggered that mistake. That’s what I call the process of growing up.

Ran 11:30 PM

Music

these are some of my favorite songs.. more songs to be uploaded soon..

The Webmistress

made the doll in such a way that it looked sorta like me.. plus the pink outfit.. gah! Meet my counterpart.. PORKY! ^^

Name: Rosalin Angeli C. Merez

Age: 19

School: UP Diliman

Course: CommRes ^^

Hobbies: Drawing, singing, PLAYING RPGs (you know, the ff series, and yeah! online games! woohoo! hooray for ragnarok!), collecting anime and cutesy stuffs, shoes.. lots of em, cosplaying, instrument: piano, tinkering weblayouts, fanfic writing

Loves

meowmeow! pink.. chocolates (ESP. Cadbury Hazelnuts).. almost anything.. lolz jk! well..the best way to bribe me is through my stomach and sweet tooth XD

Hates

posers, people who think they're high and mighty, backstabbers, gooey stuffs, blood and gore

Email

sorceress_ran@yahoo.com

That's about it I guess... (for now..)

err yeah.. please visit my DA too! look for the link below.. thanks!

Linkage